In Other Words

Same Same, But Different

It is no longer new year’s day, but for the rest not that much has changed. I went to be bed early last night with a throat ache and then woke up early to roam around second hand markets with Banana and Fish (yes, they all have silly names). Then we watched some movies (Super Size Me, Mulholland Drive and Sleepy Hollow). Been a bit down, actually. Getting a little worried about not getting a job in time and being buggered. It’s not easy, especially since Banana has no work permit and therefore a much greater barrier to overcome before she can actually get to work.

The fuck ups the last week in terms of going out weren’t all that helpful, either. We could have possibly met some very useful people for work purposes, but instead we had to go home early each time. That saps your energy, if you get what I mean.

So sickness, money worries and minor depression are taking their toll. Hopefully I’ll be able to fight my way out of them, though. I have to, seeing as otherwise we’re truly screwed. Oh well, I might as well get used to the pressure of responsibility, as it doesn’t actually get any less, as life goes on.

I’m going to direct some effort into the Japanese story and try to work on some short stories. At least if I manage to publish some work, then I’ll be building up a name as a writer. That might help me in the future. I certainly need to make sure I build up a name as something, except for a lay about.

I knew that this down was coming. It was bound to come, it always does as the pressure rises. I just wish I didn’t have such a feeling that we are wasting time that we could have used far more efficiently. Though I’m enjoying the naps and the sit around and the chats with the children, I have this feeling in the back of the mind time is running out.

Well, on Tuesday the public holidays are over, at least then we’ll have things to do. Then we have no excuse to sit around and do nothing. Then there will be people to do and places to see. I think I need to just be patient. Be patient and physically recover, that will certainly help.

posted by Symbol @ 2.1.05